{Life} Your Oxygen Mask May Not Inflate Entirely

In this world, it’s important to help other people. This is not a new concept for anyone. We’re taught this from a very young age. Yet often, as we move into adulthood, overspending our limited energies on someone else can result in depleting our own energy source.

I was once that girl who stressed over my friend’s problems. I helped them work through everything! (And to be fair, they did the same for me as well). I would skip classes to cheer a friend up, drop anything to be there for a significant other in need and spend anything I had to make my family member happy.

At the end of the day, I was so exhausted from solving other people’s problems that I didn’t have the energy to properly handle my own issues. I was miserable and conflicted. I was partaking in my own leftovers instead of enjoying the feast of self.

Little by little, as the years progressed from 21 to 22 to 23, I began to see the merit in being a smidge selfish with my energy. 24 was my ‘year of self.’ I learned to say no when I wanted to – and without guilt! I learned  to listen to  my inner self and take a night off when all I want to do is sit around in my under-roos and read blogs and drink an endless amount of Earl Grey tea with honey and soy milk. I learned to distance myself from my friend’s problems. I can be there for them without being in the middle of their conflict, and plus, it’s so much less emotionally taxing to be an occasional shoulder to cry on rather than a referee. I pared down my close circle of friends so I could be a better friend to those around me. I started to take more of an interest in building a relationship with my little brothers and cousins. Formerly, I’d just be annoyed by their presence because I was tired and they were loud. Now I see that they’re actually (shocker} humans! And they’re actually kind of cool humans at that.

I discovered that in order to put others first when they most need it, we must put ourselves first at other times. That ever-elusive balance.

We’re responsible for putting the oxygen mask on ourselves FIRST before assisting others. You’re most able to help others when you have a steady flow of that vital life supply. When I am happy and stable in my own person, I’m able to help those around me without feeling as though I’m neglecting my own needs. I can put my life on hold for a night to cheer up a friend; I have a few extra dollars in my budget to buy a round of drinks for an old friend. I have more patience with my siblings and significant other. I’m an all-around better girlfriend, friend, sister, daughter, cousin, granddaughter and employee when I am happy or at least contented with my life.

I also like being there for my loved ones during the joyful times as well. I enjoy sending thank you notes and post cards and helping to celebrate the good as well as mourn the bad. I’ve just found that at certain moments, I haven’t been able to entirely savor other people’s triumphs because I’ve been so anxious over my own misfortunes.

That was the last straw for me. When I was unable to celebrate a friend’s life victory because I was wallowing in my own lack of victories. It’s one thing to feel a ting of jealous for a stranger but to not be able to celebrate a loved one because of your own perceived inadequacies is a terrible feeling. I started to get my life on track then and there.

Come to think of it, perhaps I should send that friend a thank-you note…

Tags: importance of being selfish, important to do you, oxygen mask, oxygen masks, please put the oxygen mask on yourself first, take care of yourself first